Today, It's All About Red Monkey Toesocks
...and other really wrong ideas I feel the need to share with everyone else. Not for posterity or enlightenment. Not even for those tingly feelgood sensations you get after watching an After-School Special movie. (Or else the tingling sensation was that burrito you ate before the movie.) No, ultimately I just want to scare people.
Or does the concept of a "Pop-Up Book of Venereal Diseases" not scare you? Or if that didn't work, how about this?
Good Idea: for family night, you rent the movie "Puss In Boots."
Bad Idea: for family night, you rent the movie "Pussies N' Boots."
Scared yet? If you're not, you're probably deranged like me, which is probably a good thing. After all, fear is a curious phenomeon. Lovecraft tells us that the most primal of all human emotions is fear, and the greatest of those fears is fear of the unknown. Tiawon Gongloe states that we should fear nothing, but fear itself. And Largo insists that we must PH43R his lack of B33R!
Everyone experiences fear at one point in time (or each day) in their life. I'll admit I was scared today when I discovered that I've now achieved new levels of corporate whoring. We received a new manual taking us through the rigours of some fancy new things the computer can do. One of which was a spiffy upgrade to the personnel files. The instruction manual decided to give a randomly selected name as a demonstration for how to input a new employee into the system. And guess which name was listed in the manual?
No, it wasn't that man, Yang Wen-li. And no, it wasn't Cthulhu either.
Yep, I blinked a few times upon seeing my name in there, first and last: Smith, Phillip. They even had the spelling right too. Now I understand that in signing up with the company, I've become a corporate whore. I'm tainted. And I'm all right with that. I can accept and deal with that. On the other hand, if I'm going to be whored out by the company, I'd like to be notified of it beforehand. Maybe even get a cut of the profits. Otherwise I feel violated somehow. If we ever run short of money, Mel & I already have an agreement where she will pimp me out to Boystown in Toronto. I may not get much of a profit, but at least I'm aware of this beforehand.
Quote of the Day: "[What were my parents like?] They were great. They tasted a lot like chicken"; as spoken by David Boreanez from
Angel: Sense & Sensitivity.
posted by Phillip at 5:39 PM
